sessho08: (grey m)
[personal profile] sessho08
Title: picture perfect
Fandom: TVXQ
Pairing: Homin
Rating: G
Words: 861
A/N: I was searching for something on my old phone and found this idea instead and it still spoke to me so I wrote it. Man, I haven't written anything in 5 months or so, talk about rusty nail. Anyway, hope you enjoy~ :>





you fill your phone up. you fill it up with traces of his presence, with proofs of his smiles.


you take pictures when he's asleep, mouth half open, slightly drooling and gross and so endearing. you take pictures when you think he's not looking. engrossed in a book (he's been reading essays lately), lost in repetition of dance moves - step back, half-turn, wrist bent, the palm of his hand cutting through the air with ridiculous sharpness. when he's away, gaze absent, turned inside, a frown marring his brows, lips set in a tight line or parted slightly with white teeth peaking out and digging into his lower lip.

you get yourself a japanese phone only to discover it doesn't come with the option of muting the camera sound. you download an application with a soundless camera but the quality isn't good and you're kind of pissed for a week or so until you get a different model.

you catch him unaware and he yelps and then he screams and promises his revenge. you walk away with a hint of smirk on your face, with a faint trace of laughter trailing in your wake.

he poses for you - with his trademark white pearly smile, eyes crinkled and thumb up. with his fingers set into the victory sign. he makes hideous faces and then he bursts laughing when he manages to pull off a particularly ugly one and your thumb clicks away, desperate to capture as many details of his expression shifting as you only can.

you take pictures together - the range of your facial expressions rich. smiles, smirks, snarls, wrinkled noses, pouting lips, ridiculous aegyo unbecoming of your age ("no one has to see those, right~"), bland commercial faces. there are arms around your shoulders, mock fights, proper pictures to send to parents when the schedule's too busy for you to visit, to call. you loathe to let him take those with his own phone but it's not like you can voice out your protest, not without an explanation and this is certainly one of these things you're never telling him.

sleeping, smiling, in love, desolate. you try to collect pieces of him as if they could be made into a whole.


some of the photographs cut close. they're what a stalker would take but you're not one and at the end of the day you're not documenting anything he'd mind you taking pictures of. you say that to your reflection on a plane toilet mirror and it looks back at you, unconvinced and wholly unimpressed.


you input numbers. his schedule, the times he forgot his wallet, left his mobile behind. ("so i have more blackmail material," you grin at him when he notices. his face scrunches, long digits reaching to rub at his eyes and then he grins back.) you write his phone numbers for him, in case he ever needs those when he loses his phone again. he's grateful and you nag at him and you indulge him, and you indulge yourself.


you watch the number of unsent texts growing, observe it as if it's a foreign matter that you have no influence on.

listen, can we go bowling tomorrow? i have to practise for the next episode. the last time was horrid and i don't want to ever fe--

kkkkkkkkkk

you forgot your car keys at my place!!! if you don't need them before thursday, i'll just bring them to the set but otherwise drop by!!! ugh, really, hyung :/ you know i was planning on going out to--

i like you. in that way. it's not a jok--

did you see my blue scarf? i swear i was wearing it yesterday when we went drinking. if you --

:)))))

hyung!!! did you take your cold medicine?? you know it won't work properly if you don't take it regularly so please be a responsible adult would y--

we need to talk, it's important.

hodong-hyungnim asked about you today. he sends his regards and wants to know if you have time next tuesday so if you could give him a c--

today i saw you with her. you looked like a real couple. everyone says we're like a real couple but i guess i can't compete. such a fool, are--

a girl tried to get your number from me today. i flirted with her instead. please be gratefu--

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

you delete them all. the count starts all over again.


you write songs. you prefer to do it the traditional way - the weight of a pen between your fingers, the smooth expanse of paper under your hand. but sometimes this isn't an option so you pour your heart out onto a screen and somehow it doesn't spill but you're still not done, you're never satiated.


you come up with confessions and your fingers slide over the locked screen of your phone because it'd be ridiculous to actually type them out.


you sort out your folders, you browse through hundreds and thousands of pictures and pictures and restrained feelings barely contained and words unsaid.


you format your phone and get a new one and then another. the content never really changes.



Comments and criticism as always much appreciated ♥

Date: 2013-06-23 01:51 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] snow-meow.livejournal.com
why does the fic have an undertone of sadness?

Date: 2013-06-23 02:03 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] je-sessho.livejournal.com
Possibly because I like sad things and this too was supposed to be one of them *^*

Thanks for reading and commenting!

Date: 2013-06-23 02:02 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] dc-flag.livejournal.com
Changminnie needs to be happy! :(

Date: 2013-06-23 02:04 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] je-sessho.livejournal.com
Wouldn't we all want that :< Alas.

Thanks for reading and commenting~

Date: 2013-06-23 03:15 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] fezy fi (from livejournal.com)
Oh my god. This is one of the few fics/novels that made me teared up.

It's sad. I love the way you brought out the feeling of "changmin" in here.

Date: 2013-06-23 03:40 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] je-sessho.livejournal.com
Aww, I'm sorry?? :< (And also flattered.)

Thanks for the comment~

Date: 2013-06-23 04:07 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lliyk.livejournal.com
ahhhhh, this was so pretty! your writing style fits the longing tone so nicely and i just acydhxkj ❤

Date: 2013-06-23 04:32 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] je-sessho.livejournal.com
d'awww, thank you ❤ you're too kind ;; glad you liked it!
(deleted comment)

Date: 2013-06-23 04:34 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] je-sessho.livejournal.com
thank you! it seemed like a neat idea - glad you liked it~ :>

Date: 2013-06-23 06:39 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] orchidgal16.livejournal.com
I dont like to watch sad Korean Drama but this is beautifully written, thanks for writing and sharing about HoMin.

Date: 2013-06-24 03:58 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] je-sessho.livejournal.com
I'm not really fond of dramas in general myself~ Glad you liked it despite your preferences though. Thanks for the comment <3

Date: 2013-06-23 08:12 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] cactuzoz.livejournal.com
my heart bled and teared for shim for the love he held for his hyung.
it was understandable and painful...and in real life who really have the courage to get
the happiness that they deserve by jeopardizing the bond and other people's happiness?
oh shim~let me hug youuuu~
and thank you so much for this new fic from you~~ huuu
a yunho for you :
Image

Date: 2013-06-25 02:40 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] je-sessho.livejournal.com
Yeah, in real life if one of them were(/is) gay/bi and had feelings for the other, I'm guessing it'd be really hard to decide on the course of action. Sometimes all you can do (or all you can feel you can do?) is just long for the other person.

/pats Shim
/gets a glare in return because it's all her doing after all

Thank you for the lovely comment! ♥ Glad you liked this piece :>

Date: 2013-06-25 02:41 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] je-sessho.livejournal.com
And thanks for the cute Yunho 8D

Date: 2013-06-23 11:26 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] greyrosesinjune.livejournal.com
/sob

Oh, Changminnie. /sobs

So sad and so beautifully concise. Ugh, feels

Date: 2013-06-24 03:59 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] je-sessho.livejournal.com
Noooo, you're too kind ;; Thank you ♥ Glad you enjoyed it.

Date: 2013-06-24 07:53 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] bubblezzzzzt.livejournal.com
I still can't (and probably never) get over changmin silent protection (the one he step on the board when yunho passed thru it in ocean offshot); or yesterday his silent affection when he hide himself behind the door to wait yunho in the airport >.<
and now here i am reading about his hidden/silent love i can't ;;;;;;;;;;;

thank you for writing this beautiful piece :')


(and i love the unseen text <3 ^^)

Date: 2013-06-25 02:44 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] je-sessho.livejournal.com
Me too :'( These things are awful, killing me softly and making me want more why and how ahhh.

I'm flattered you ended up associating this fic with such precious moments even though it probably occurred in a rather... painful manner. (For which I'm terribly sorry except I'm not /o\)

Thank you for the reading and commenting ♥

Date: 2013-06-24 07:16 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] light-on-oceans.livejournal.com
I feel like I missed something lol because I was pretty convinced for about the first half of the fic that it was Yunho taking the pics?? I mean it's a pretty Yunho thing to do isn't it? /trying to justify this lol
this was really sweet though! and beautifully written of course ^^

Date: 2013-06-25 02:37 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] je-sessho.livejournal.com
Ahahaha, that happens sometimes with fics written from 2nd person POV? They can be a bit perplexing. ...I will try harder next time (9*^*)9

But yeah, I guess Yunho did say taking pictures~ When writing I was aiming more for the tidbit with Changmin saying how they have many pictures of each other with hideous faces on their phones~


Thanks for reading and commenting :>

Date: 2013-06-25 12:28 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] subtleteas.livejournal.com
Ohhhhh, I like this.
Everything Changmin does in this is so Changmin; the need to capture Yunho's essence into tangible things like photographs, the unsent text messages, the words unsaid.

Well, at least this is how I like to think of Changmin's personality, since I'm the same way. (so many unsent texts orz)

Also /screams you have a whole masterlist of fics I haven't read yet! I'm going to add you and go read through all of them- brace yourself, haha.

Date: 2013-06-25 02:33 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] je-sessho.livejournal.com
I'm very glad to hear that ;;

And also happy that you think my Changmin here is IC? I never know with these boys so it's a relief to know that they feel like themselves. Idk, I felt like this would suit Changmin? Meticulous, a bit obsessive, fiercely loyal. ...What am I saying I do not know.

I have some unsent stuff too ahahaha.


Ahhhh, thank you so much! I really appreciate that~ Have fun? ♥ (Though I'm not sure if my writing could quite count as "fun".)
/wibbles ;;

Date: 2013-07-22 01:45 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] cease11.livejournal.com
the unsent texts are so heart breaking TT________TT

Oh Changmin...

This story is so beautiful and lovely and my heart breaks for Changmin as he pours his heart into one phone after another, treasuring captured frozen moments and storing them away. I feel like maybe Changmin would always be hovering over deleting or not deleting because what's stored is not good enough, but at the same time, never enough.

Date: 2013-08-14 04:35 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] je-sessho.livejournal.com
...this is going to be a terribly late reply to somehow you probably don't even remember commenting on /o\ sorry!


actually i was sort of wondering myself whether i should make him delete those or not. but i decided to go for it because i guess i wanted him to make attempts at getting over yunho? at stopping the madness? of course it doesn't work out and he probably beats himself over the deleted stuff but.

anyway, thank you for this lovely comment. ♥


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