sessho08: (y12kn)
[personal profile] sessho08
Title: The Brightest Flame
Fandom: Dong Bang Shin Ki
Pairing: Homin, Changmin-centric
Rating: G
Words: 685
A/N: Just a weird drabble that could be more but probably won't be because I don't have time. Dedicated to [ profile] curaga since she was my inspiration for this ;)

One day Changmin discovers he doesn't sleep anymore, hasn't slept for whole days already.

It's a silly realisation because how could he not have noticed before? It's true the moments he could devote for sleep have been becoming fewer and fewer recently but this, this was something else entirely. He feels fine, though.

In fact he can't quite recall when he has felt better than this. Perpetual exhaustion that he's come to consider the only certain constant in his life and a companion that never leaves him - that exhaustion is there no more. Gone with no trace.

Suddenly, he's full of life again. He's got energy for everything and since he no longer has to waste night for slumber, he's gained time to do all these things he's always meant to do, has been always promising himself he's going to take care of soon.

(He still sometimes spends his night in bed, but now it's more for the warmth of another person's body and he listens to Yunho's breathing slowly even out and he thinks and just enjoys the moment.)

People comment on how his dancing skills had improved, how he sounds better than any time in the past - the clarity of his voice gaining a fresh edge. They tease him about the brightness of his eyes, of his smile; that someone must have replaced him when they weren't looking because this easy-going joy can't be normal, can't be healthy.

The less he sleeps and the more days have passed since he's last slept, the less tired and more lively he feels. That's why he doesn't tell anyone of what's happened to him. He doesn't want to tempt the fate.

(He knows this can't be normal. He knows there must be a price like with everything to life.)

When he realises this strange vitality has been shirking at his life, it's already too late.

He's still full of vigor, he's still more energetic than ever, his efforts continue giving the best results. He feels completely fine except when he has to excuse himself and coughs up blood in the bathroom's safe solitude. Except when he starts collapsing frequently, unpredictably. When he loses weight - the brightness of his eyes and smile unchanged.

People start commenting on how sickly he's been looking lately.

"Are you sure you're alright?" "Yes, I am, don't worry." They do anyway, as he does and finally there comes a moment when he can't pretend it's all fine, he's all fine anymore.

Yunho corners him after he faints one day and almost cracks open his skull and at last, he finally confesses everything. Yunho's not happy with what he hears, no. The grip he has on Changmin's thin (oh, so thin) wrist is painful enough to bring him to tears. He starts crying, silently at first, refusing to look at Yunho and when Yunho makes him, he breaks out into bordering on hysterical sobbing.
Now it's Yunho's embrace that is threatening to break his ribs, to suffocate him and he almost wishes it really does. It seems like a better fate than he knows in his gut is awaiting him.

He's always been too stubborn.

They visit expensive clinics, make appointments at various health centers, they go to practitioners of local medicine, of old, forgotten rituals. No one can tell them what Changmin's condition is, some people don't even believe them at first.

There's never been much hope on Changmin's part, so he's not really surprised but Yunho. Yunho doesn't cope well. Anger, fear, anxiety, desperation, denial - they all take their toll on him but it's hope and love that make it the worst. They destroy him in the way all the other states didn't manage to.

Yunho starts losing sleep as well but all the usual symptoms of sleep deprivation are there and he cannot help succumbing to fits of restless slumber. Changmin lies next to him, basking in the body heat, listening to the merciless countdown of his inhales and exhales, of his steady heartbeats. Finally, on one night, lying in Yunho's arms, he falls asleep again.

Comments and criticism as always much appreciated :)
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April 2014

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