sessho08: (whisper)
[personal profile] sessho08
It's been a while since I last posted anything of substance here. While it's not definite (as nothing is) I don't think I'll be writing for Homin fandom anymore. But I have two unposted ficbits and I thought it'd be nice to post them as a farewell of sorts? They're both angsty and vague and hopefully at least a bit entertaining.

Title: reflections
Fandom: TVXQ
Pairing: Homin
Rating: G
Words: 219

yunho is a vampire. he sucks changmin dry out of all the love he has to offer. he drains him out of affection that wasn't meant for him, that never was meant for him.

and all the anger, the compassion, the irritation that changmin has in stock, he takes it all and leaves nothing for changmin himself.

his presence makes changmin drown in momentary bliss, desired obliviousness. it leaves him lost and perplexed and with no recollection.

changmin's drained and devoid of energy and willpower and he's propelled forward, always forward.

he has no reflection when changmin seeks it in the mirror, when he searches for it by his side. only his clothes can be seen ephemerally imprinted on the smooth surface as they hug changmin's frame instead.

yunho's too fast for the eye to see, forever but an imprint on changmin's retina. and changmin has to avert his gaze because it physically hurts to follow yunho's movements, too brilliant, inhuman. compelling.

yunho's strong. changmin muses that he might have lived for thousands years now because he's not afraid of the sun, because he laughs in its face the way changmin never could.

he touches changmin and it burns and changmin vaguely remembers something about flames so hot they burn cold and ruthless.

and changmin's just a human. helpless.

Title: here by your side
Fandom: TVXQ
Pairing: Homin
Rating: G
Words: 503

recently yunho has changed.

changmin can tell. he spent years standing by his side, observing his each move, supporting him in his struggles, cheering him on in his attempts, being happy for him, getting annoyed at his antics and frustrated by stubborness.

yunho is subdued. his movements have lost their innate grace, have become dull and costive. his sleep pattern is all messed up now and changmin knows this is a part of the problem but not its source. yunho sleeps 12 hours. he takes a 2 hour long nap just around the dusk, when the sun is setting. there are dark rings around his eyes and no matter how much or little he sleeps he looks tired all the time and changmin's beside himself with worry.

sometimes yunho cries, with no warning, without reason. he's standing still, boring his unseeing gaze into the dish he just prepared.
yunho's cooking has improved a lot over the time. while the methods still remain haphazard at best, his dishes both look appetising and are edible most of the time now.
"yunho? it's really good, seriously," changmin murmurs. yunho's shoulders are set, his muscles tight with witheld tears that don't spill.
and when yunho's lying down, his eyes lifeless, every now and then changmin reclines next to him. it reminds him of the bleak moments caught up somewhere between the past that seemed irrevocable and the future that might've never come. he did the same then, haplessly tried to console yunho with his presence, waiting for him to let go and fearing that he actually would.

it's even worse now and now, now changmin would give everything for the other to make his inexplicable anguish known, to permit it to take shape. the swallowed tears only serve to make yunho's jaw and body tight and just the sight is enough to bring changmin himself close to bursting into an unsightly crying fit.

yunho rejects all the invitations from his friends. changmin chides him for that, for this childish behaviour but it's like his words never reach. as if yunho's in a faraway place to which changmin has no way in and it hurts.

yunho doesn't smile. the corners of his mouth curve upside in a pitiful mimicry of its previous brilliance. yunho starts laughing and doesn't stop, can't stop, please, i beg you, stop. it's like a rollercoaster and yunho has never been the capricious one, never let anything affect him that much.

sometimes yunho just kind of stops. freezes in the middle of what he was doing at the moment, taking out his fresh laundry, putting away the kitchen knife, leafing through a book, trailing slowly alongside the railways tracks, and slips away.
"hyung," changmin says, "is everything fine."

("hyung, what's wrong

why aren't you talking to me

why have you become this way

why do you never touch me anymore

hyung, have i done something to offend you

yunho, this is enough

why are you ignoring me


i beg you so please


Comments and criticism as always much appreciated ♥

Homin fandom, it's been a ride~
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April 2014

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